Three years ago, I found myself in a locked psychiatric unit, suffering from severe PTSD from chronic abuse. I was a patient with a chart filled with labels suggesting I would never work full-time, support my children, or live without a “handler.” I was surviving, but I wasn’t truly living.

For years, I accepted the story that I was “crazy” or “weak.” It felt safer to think I was the problem than to face the reality that I was being systematically broken by an abusive environment. In “survival mode,” there is no room for identity…only the need for safety.

An identity shift occurs when the pain of staying the same finally outweighs the fear of the unknown. For me, that turning point was a hidden foreclosure that showed I was already on my own. I just hadn’t realized it yet.

• Audit Your Labels: Write down every negative thing you’ve been told about yourself. Then ask: Is this a fact, or was it a tool used to control me?  
• Claim Your New Title: I went from “Patient” to “Educator.” I went from “Victim” to “Victor.” What title will you take on?  
• Small, Brave Acts: You don’t change your identity overnight. It happens through a “List of Things I Thought I Couldn’t Do, But I Did Anyway.” Start your list today.